The IT Guy and the Fly

I was sat at work just after lunch the point where I’m working slowly but pretending to work harder, I’ve perfected this concentrated face look that makes me look like I’m working something out. I sit on what the office calls a ‘pod’ of desks that holds up to 10 desks each with a PC, notepad and other work paraphernalia.

 

My colleague who sits opposite me was out at lunch when a large guy sat in her seat, I work in an office where the faces don’t change much so this was unusual, exciting even, who was this guy? I lost my mock concentrated face and replaced it with a stereotypically intrigued one, arched eyebrow, pouted lips, jilted neck, you know the look. I sneaked glances between working but he refused to give the eye contact that would initialise conversation and quell my curiosity. He had a USB stick, I assumed that he was an IT technician, on his tall bulky frame he wore a white Tesco value type of shirt, the ones with material so thin that you can see the nipples through them, glasses with thin metal frames sat atop his blotchy red cheeks. During my observations I noticed movement.

 

‘Alright mate, you’ve got a fly on you’ I blurted, pointing my eyes in the direction of the fly.

 

It was wandering just below his left shoulder, I don’t think he cared much but had to do something now I’d mentioned it, he brushed away the fly with his mouse hand –  the hand he was controlling the computer mouse with he didn’t have a mouse’s hand that would have been something I’d have definitely added when describing him. This fly, although brushed, remained on him and now sat on top of his shoulder, it was one of them rare flys that doesn’t fly away as soon as your about to hit it.

 

‘Its still there’, he swiped again, the fly now meandered over the horizon of his shoulder on to his back, ‘Erm… its on your back now’ this IT guy was visibly flustered and not happy that I’d stretched his social boundaries by talking to him.

 

‘Are you taking the piss?’ he asked.

 

‘No…’ I said looking around for back up, our encounter had gone unnoticed. I laugh nervously, ‘…it’s on your other shoulder now’ he looks annoyed at me as looks to his right shoulder.

 

Annoyed at me? How dare he? I’m trying to help this geezer out I know for damn sure that if I had an insect on me that I would want it off, my body is not a home for a weary caterpillar or an exhausted moth, get it off! The guy flapped around a bit and the fly got away, true to form, unnoticed.

We exchanged wry smiles and got back to work trying hard to be nonchalant, I glance back at him still eager to seek salvation from our somewhat soured relationship. I see a spider. Dangling from his ear. I turn back to my PC and start working properly.

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